Why I Oppose Girl Scout Cookies

First of all, I don't actually hate the cookies themselves because they actually taste decent sometimes, but I've had better (that's what she said). No, it's not the cookies, it's the people who sell the cookies. I'm not talking about girl scouts because I've actually never seen a girl scout sell the cookies here in Utah, not once. I'm talking about their parents and friends.

I always get approached at work by someone selling these evil cookies for her daughter. She asked me how many I wanted. Being poor and not willing to support someone I don't care about, I said none. This mother then got all pushy on me saying I needed to support the girl scouts, blah blah blah. She's currently letting me think about how many I want to buy. Guess what my answer is....none! Go away.

Last year I went to Macey's around girl scout cookie time and saw a table with three adults and a bunch of little girls running around. The girls were getting into the way of everyone trying to get carts, while the adults were asking people "What kind of cookies would you like?" as they were walking by. Girls weren't doing anything but annoying everyone around them. They asked me what cookies I wanted (and luckily my wife wasn't with me because she would have been mad at me, and will get mad when she reads this) and I said, "I already bought girl scout cookies and they took forever to get to me, they didn't taste good, and they were overpriced. Never again!" The lady didn't know what to say to me and just sat there staring at me. Ha ha ha ha... Wiquerking 1, girl scouts 0.

My favorite part of girl scout cookies is if you don't buy them people act as if you committed the unpardonable sin. "It's not about the cookies it's about helping girl scouts earn money." Well, I don't care about girl scouts. Not only that, but if I pay for something it better be good. Girl scout cookies are not that good. They are overrated, like the SEC and Big 12 in football. If I don't want to buy them, I don't have to. I don't buy everything just because it'll help someone. If I did my family wouldn't get what they need.

Girl scouts should do something productive to get their money for girls camp and whatever other crap they do (I have no idea, I don't think my sister was a girl scout). They should actually do something to benefit the community instead of contributing to increased numbers of heart disease and obesity. Girl scouts should provide a service. Babysit or clean or something. You benefit the community and you get your money. Plus you don't have to share earnings with the stupid company that makes girl scout cookies, it's all yours!!!

Lastly, girls should spend the money on something fun, not girls camp. Ask girls how they like girls camp and most of them will say, "It's alright." Why do you go then? Why not spend the money at something fun like a trip to Disneyland or Lagoon for those in Utah. My favorite place to spend hard earned money for scouts was Lake Powell. We used to work for money buy taking crap people didn't want anymore, fixing it up (like cars, lawn mowers, etc.)and then blow all the money at Lake Powell on boats, wave runners, good food, etc. It was great and we all enjoyed it. It was for a good cause and we helped people get rid of stuff they didn't want by giving it to people who didn't want to spend much on the same thing. Parents got rid of their annoying teenage boys for a full week, and those annoying teenage boys had a blast away from nagging parents. Why should I be enthusiastic about buying girl scout cookies if girls aren't enthusiastic about where the money is going? Why make your parents go through all that trouble if you aren't going to enjoy yourself anyway? If anything, girl scout cookies make this world a horrible place, and need to be banned.

Obama, make your "change" and ban girl scout cookies from the United States. Then I might consider voting for you on re-election instead of voting for myself again.